Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.