I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.