Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!