correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.