You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists