I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.