seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?