He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.