She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed