That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it