Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.