There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
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I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.