Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.