I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it