Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
MIDGETS
????
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.