Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.