Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.