There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.