you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.