i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Send us your Text From Last Night!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.