I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.