I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already