she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.