How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?