We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.