He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO