Texts From Last Night

Last Night at Ohio University (OH)

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  I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit

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  (740): I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit http://tfl.nu/8mkh
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  I told you he wasn't attractive.

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  Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..

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  (440): I told you he wasn't attractive. (1-440): Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf.. http://tfl.nu/x2hn
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  Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

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  (937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj
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  Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour

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  (937): Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour http://tfl.nu/gdsh
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  no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night

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  (440): no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night http://tfl.nu/ig4q
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  when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine

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  (440): when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine http://tfl.nu/xy6d
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  Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.

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  (740): Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked. http://tfl.nu/voiu
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  I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.

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  (740): I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever. http://tfl.nu/glym
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  Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere

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  (740): Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere http://tfl.nu/0hmj
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  All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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  (937): All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely http://tfl.nu/gogl
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  well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."

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  (740): well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful." http://tfl.nu/nfe2
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  It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.

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  (740): It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex. http://tfl.nu/8qyg
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  thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers

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  its only a rough draft.

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  (513): thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers (440): its only a rough draft. http://tfl.nu/pfud
  Replies (10) Good night (3719) Bad night (693)
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  Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping

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  (216): Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping http://tfl.nu/0qth
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  Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either

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  (937): Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either http://tfl.nu/8shq
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