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I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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