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just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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