He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender