I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress