Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.