Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Week

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."

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  (610): You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would." http://tfl.nu/q6wg
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  How does that even work?

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  (702): I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother. (920): How does that even work? http://tfl.nu/1f27
  Replies (5) Good night (341) Bad night (154)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.

  (253): View more from Washington

  You're lovely.

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  (425): Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight. (253): You're lovely. http://tfl.nu/vx83
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (94)
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  (408): View more from California

  Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.

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  (408): Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher. http://tfl.nu/o3bs
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  (310): View more from California

  Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?

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  (310): Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH? http://tfl.nu/yzjc
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  (631): View more from New York

  are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?

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  (631): are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ? http://tfl.nu/6snf
  Replies (6) Good night (330) Bad night (43) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements

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  (727): Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements http://tfl.nu/wb2j
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  The apocalypse has arrived.

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  (320): For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment. (1-320): The apocalypse has arrived. http://tfl.nu/kypn
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.

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  (404): Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to. http://tfl.nu/ye3d
  Replies (5) Good night (329) Bad night (179)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

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  (425): 1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone http://tfl.nu/2si2
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  (650): View more from California

  she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"

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  (650): she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?" http://tfl.nu/za23
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to

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  (978): They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to http://tfl.nu/mjdy
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!

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  (410): Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way! http://tfl.nu/jf3p
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  (626): View more from California

  Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.

  (1-626): View more from California

  I see you met someone special

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  (626): Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection. (1-626): I see you met someone special http://tfl.nu/ncbz
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.

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  (570): Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home. http://tfl.nu/ff77
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