A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk