So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving