I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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My bed smells like the plague
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way