There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I have tasted many bathrooms
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.