Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?