Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.