FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.