You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will