Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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My bed smells like the plague
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.