you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
I was spiderman.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".