His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2