I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go