Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You're moving up the public shitting ladder