I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line