I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.