No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf