just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??