Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (315): View more from New York

  She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her

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  (315): She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her http://tfl.nu/g7bc
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger

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  (617): Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger http://tfl.nu/kw9o
  Replies (0) Good night (123) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I chugged that bitch with a dip in.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.

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  (937): I chugged that bitch with a dip in. (614): You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you. http://tfl.nu/o45c
  Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (178)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.

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  (941): When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel. http://tfl.nu/2hjl
  Replies (3) Good night (363) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge

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  (714): She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge http://tfl.nu/on98
  Replies (2) Good night (335) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"

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  (814): I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!" http://tfl.nu/71ex
  Replies (11) Good night (458) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.

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  (903): Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell. http://tfl.nu/clzb
  Replies (3) Good night (369) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."

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  (502): There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs." http://tfl.nu/6a8r
  Replies (9) Good night (773) Bad night (163) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?

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  (859): Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut? http://tfl.nu/nfyo
  Replies (12) Good night (444) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.

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  (708): You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice. http://tfl.nu/p63x
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea

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  (250): He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea http://tfl.nu/7hkj
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (159)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.

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  (336): Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups. http://tfl.nu/v7i7
  Replies (6) Good night (525) Bad night (155) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?

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  (708): Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love? http://tfl.nu/bkra
  Replies (7) Good night (386) Bad night (154) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.

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  (720): This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you. http://tfl.nu/ixe4
  Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.

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  (443): Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos. http://tfl.nu/iwo5
  Replies (8) Good night (1274) Bad night (148) Order T-Shirt