I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.