Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
we f'd six times
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night