Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.