Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Week

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I just put wine in my tea

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  (651): Well I just put wine in my tea http://tfl.nu/sol7
  Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk

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  (503): Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk http://tfl.nu/l7fc
  Replies (9) Good night (458) Bad night (84) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning

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  (760): And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning http://tfl.nu/27ss
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (118)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass

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  (705): We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass http://tfl.nu/z449
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (128) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.

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  (615): Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast. http://tfl.nu/ki2v
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (95) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?

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  (773): Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT? http://tfl.nu/k7sq
  Replies (8) Good night (446) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??

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  (610): So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night?? http://tfl.nu/qtcd
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (92)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.

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  (214): In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman. http://tfl.nu/e6dh
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (134) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!

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  (+44): We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA! http://tfl.nu/862o
  Replies (6) Good night (434) Bad night (106) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.

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  (208): The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med. http://tfl.nu/j1ow
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (119) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker

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  (703): The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker http://tfl.nu/7qsu
  Replies (6) Good night (431) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

  (1-438): View more from Quebec

  God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

  (438): View more from Quebec

  Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

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  (438): I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents. (1-438): God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol. (438): Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss http://tfl.nu/li35
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (89)
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  (619): View more from California

  Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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  (619): Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket. http://tfl.nu/fgzh
  Replies (7) Good night (428) Bad night (136)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Thank you for caring about my cervix.

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  (616): Thank you for caring about my cervix. http://tfl.nu/akl3
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (90) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.

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  (760): Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove. http://tfl.nu/hs8c
  Replies (4) Good night (427) Bad night (85)