I'm bleeding and have questions
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.