He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.