Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?