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thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
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