Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (075): View more from

  thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

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  (075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6
  Replies (12) Good night (1111) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you

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  (217): Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you http://tfl.nu/bix8
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?

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  (615): Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help? http://tfl.nu/mn7q
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"

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  (+44): You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action" http://tfl.nu/vmud
  Replies (9) Good night (1002) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.

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  (337): By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day. http://tfl.nu/1a9r
  Replies (7) Good night (571) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?

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  (914): Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday? http://tfl.nu/1qeg
  Replies (4) Good night (144) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it

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  (214): I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it http://tfl.nu/key8
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  (852): View more from

  I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..

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  (852): I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again.. http://tfl.nu/4a3e
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

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  (717): Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend. http://tfl.nu/7j2q
  Replies (9) Good night (924) Bad night (377)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.

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  (310): Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping. http://tfl.nu/k0y4
  Replies (16) Good night (984) Bad night (367)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

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  (724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.

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  (561): Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets. http://tfl.nu/6ng8
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.

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  (775): Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think. http://tfl.nu/vd5v
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?

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  (404): Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture? http://tfl.nu/tx1u
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.

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  (541): It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/ky4b
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt