I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana