If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.