Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
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but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.