We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.