We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
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Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.