I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer