the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes