Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.