Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dating After Heartbreak
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.