It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
My hand turned me down
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.