You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.