He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.