I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Do vagina's smell?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke