So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.